This goes with my bubble theory.
I’m going to keep it here so it doesn’t get lost.
It addresses a hiccup in the thinking –
What happens if your bubble is invisible? Or, in my case, is ultra ultra tough?
Brené Brown says what I’m getting at: “in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen”.
This is a post on vulnerability.
It’s about the notion that we have to let the walls down in order to truly connect. I’ve been struggling with letting the walls down for a long time because I’ve been paralysed by the flipside, which is shame. I didn’t have the vocabulary to identify it, prior to this video, although the words have helped it make sense. Shame is about not believing that you, as you, are enough. It means, I think, that you hide bits of yourself and, in the act of self-editing, end up squashing your bubble or creating an opportunity for doubt –
But if they knew?
It means there is a barrier in place that doesn’t let the bubble magic work.
I’ve been chipping away at my barrier over the past year. I’ve been sharing stuff I thought was unshareable and prioritising authenticity, even though it’s made me feel quite afraid. I’m not a hundred percent there yet but the barrier’s starting to crack.
And this is what I’ve learnt –
- That the fear of being exposed lessens the more that you choose to share.
- That openness unexpectedly enables empathy: you sometimes have to admit to a vulnerability in order to learn that you are not alone.
- That the process of opening ourselves up to others is transformative: like a closed bud that flowers and keeps growing, or a caged bird that finds its wings.
- That the courage required is constant: there will always be a risk in letting yourself be seen, and a temptation to hide should the reaction feel wrong.
- That self acceptance is easier learnt in conversation than when we try and reach it on our own.
- That authenticity can, unexpectedly, smash through conformity and expectation, even though these are often the things that have held me back.
- That you tend to get back what you give – and often much much more – even though there are no guarantees at the start.