No Such Thing As Never

I was walking home with a guy from work, worrying about the fact that I’m still single, at 30, when I should have a husband, two kids and a house, and I’m distinctly lacking in direction, really, and have no idea, most of the time, where I’m going, which weighs heavily on my mind…when I tuned back into the conversation because he said –

“if you’d told me this, a month ago, I’d never have believed you”

– and I suddenly remembered what this site was meant to be about.

Even though life can sometimes feel impossible and unmanoeuvrable and full of things that come without directions, there’s really no telling what will come next.

And so I am writing this post for the next heart-stopping moment when I think that I can’t go forwards or despair that it’s all just too much –

Because, if I look back at all the miracles that have happened in the past year. The people that I’ve met and the things that, just months ago, seemed totally inconceivable from where I was standing; then I can let go, slightly, of the fear and the panic –

Because there has been very little that has ceased to amaze me yet.

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11 responses to “No Such Thing As Never

  1. So say we all! Also 30, single, no house, no kids, not even a cat 😦 I’m not particularly sure where I’m going, but the here and now is doing pretty well, the last few years have been getting better each year and I’ve got a few plans for this year (which may admittedly finally involve a house), but beyond that? Who knows! I don’t really do much planning, but things do seem to work out somehow…

    • I think they do too. I just tend to forget sometimes. And then, I remember, and it’s quite amazing just how quickly life can change and new opportunities appear. 🙂

  2. 🙂

    You are an incredibly strong person. You can build the life you want.

  3. Directions are overrated… 😉

    The feelings of having no idea what you’re doing, no sense of certainty or clear notion of where you’re going are scary. Fear of the unknown, lack of stability or security and so on…

    BUT, while that’s worrying it’s also exciting. The reason you’ve set up this blog is to embrace life and by being open and having no fixed direction you can do that. Life just unfurls and you never know what’s coming and I think accepting that and just flowing with it is the thing we all need to do, as unnerving as that might be.

    We should forget about where you ‘should be’ or ‘should be going’ and just go with the flow. That’s more exciting and interesting and points the way to adventure! Thanks for another thought-provoking and inspiring blog post! 😀

    • Yes – that was what awed me yesterday: that we expect the worse and yet often it’s the surprises or the unexpected that animate and transform our lives. I think you’re right about letting go – it’s a new way of being and demands a certain amount of trust….but then is far more rewarding than always worrying about what will come next.

  4. You can have the life you dream of. Keep working on it – you are doing great!

  5. Morning Iss,

    Maybe its a reflection of my social group, or the London lifestyle but I don’t know *anyone* who is 30 and has a) kids b) let alone two c) also a house.

    People who want/prioritise such things usually choose not to do it in London where 20/30 year olds go to be single and have fun (hint) not spend half a million pounds on a microflat to share with two squalling infants and a horribly overworked husband.

    Most of the friends who do have this on their list are planning to settle and breed *outside* london when they hit about 36. So that gives you plenty of time.

    The most exciting things in life happen when you are not focusing on the things everyone else is doing. Because the exciting things are only exciting to *you*. Example: Some people may find jumping out of an aeroplane exciting. I think it is dumb and quasi-suicidal. So I don’t spend time thinking “my, what fun people are having jumping out of aeroplanes”.

    So I say, find something that excites you and do it and just chose from among the myriad interesting things that come your way what you keep and what you let pass on. One of these might be a boy with a house, no committment issues and no major fear of breeding but there will be alot of other good stuff that passes you by if you are looking the other way at what everyone else has got.

    This comes from one control freak to another and you know I love you very much.

    WG.x

  6. Love this and agree with it all. Aside from the plane thing, as we have discussed… The interesting thing about these responses though was that I was struck by how you never know what’s coming next (ie there is hope) but I haven’t conveyed that very well…

    You’re totally right about this – “there will be alot of other good stuff that passes you by if you are looking the other way at what everyone else has got” – and I will absolutely do this – “find something that excites you and do it and just chose from among the myriad interesting things that come your way what you keep and what you let pass on.”

    Love you too 😉

  7. Part of the problem is the “should.” Focus on the “what is.” Learn to accept it and love it. Anything else is the egoic mind. Also, be kind to yourself.

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