Is it okay to drink Sangria on Wednesdays and other questions I’m no longer worrying about

I have been drinking Sangria on a Wednesday night.

I am beginning to see that there are no rules, really. There’s responsibility, certainly, and ownership of the decision – but not the strict parameters I have always been fixated on.

It has been a giddily liberating realisation.

There is both freedom and accountability. Freedom from searching for conventions that don’t exist and treading a narrow path, just in case. Accountability because each action brings a set of consequences and the consequences are yours if you have selected the route.

I am, of course, not talking about legalities –

Just the way you choose to live your life.

It has taken me 30 years to realise there are no instructions and that the direction, whilst supported by others, also comes to a large extent from within –

Oh dear.

When you’re loaded with self doubt and have spent a significant proportion of your life trying to fit in, this is not always what you want to hear….

Only, there are too many variations and variables to please everyone. Too many different perspectives and contexts to identify any consistent guidelines which would ensure that you are always “right”, which, in itself, is more subjective than I used to believe –

And so I am writing my own rulebook. It is based on a few simple principles with which I think most people would agree. Be nice. Be able to sleep at night. Do the best with what you have. Be honest – to others and to myself. Get to work on time.

The peripheral things, like whether drinking Sangria on Wednesdays is acceptable, or how short is too short, or how long do you have to wait before texting back? Well, I am trying not to worry about them. There are no set-in-stone answers to cling onto –

Just an opportunity to explore what feels best for me.


14 responses to “Is it okay to drink Sangria on Wednesdays and other questions I’m no longer worrying about

  1. Well done. 🙂

  2. This is wonderful. What’s age got to do with it. There are people twice your age that haven’t figured this one out. Love. This. Post.

  3. Very true and an excellent post (as always :)).

    It is important to keep questioning the parameters, boundaries and rules and ask “who has set that?” and “why?” It’s amazing how many things are just cast in stone by your own self-doubt if you actually contemplate it (as you say – “oh dear”).

    It’s all arbitrary and there are no set-in-stone answers to cling to or consistent ‘right’ ways. Thanks for thought-provoking stuff and a reminder not to worry and just explore what feels best for you! 😀

    • The”who has set that” question is really interesting – we (I) do things based on old or irrelevant logic but it still feels “wrong” to step aside. I think that’s a really good way of looking at what we do and assessing whether it works or not. Great point.

  4. I really like this. 🙂

    It reminds me of something I read yesterday (after watching that video you posted I ended up exploring Brene Brown’s blog) where she talks about how she learned to stop creating and start discovering, i.e. rather than create a persona that fits in with what others want from her she tries to explore and discover what it is that she likes and enjoys.

    Way to go!

    • I guess it’s part of the self acceptance thing too – trusting your judgement and giving yourself a bit of leeway to find out what feels right or not without always checking others’ opinions.

      There’s definitely a theme emerging here… 😉

  5. When I left my first wife I had the feeling off walking off the map – nothing in my conventional and conventionally religious upbringing had divorce in it as a possibility.

    Writing your own rulebook is a very exciting place to be. Congratulations.

    • “walking off the map”. Yes. Have felt like that. A little lost but also quite ready to explore and discover. Thank you.

  6. I remember reaching a similar conclusion once…it WAS scary at first but it had to happen!

  7. Absolutely. There is no should, or right or wrong – just what’s right or wrong for you, at any given moment.

    *hugs* xx

  8. I’m really happy I found your Blog, Melissa…(0:

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