I have been drinking Sangria on a Wednesday night.
I am beginning to see that there are no rules, really. There’s responsibility, certainly, and ownership of the decision – but not the strict parameters I have always been fixated on.
It has been a giddily liberating realisation.
There is both freedom and accountability. Freedom from searching for conventions that don’t exist and treading a narrow path, just in case. Accountability because each action brings a set of consequences and the consequences are yours if you have selected the route.
I am, of course, not talking about legalities –
Just the way you choose to live your life.
It has taken me 30 years to realise there are no instructions and that the direction, whilst supported by others, also comes to a large extent from within –
When you’re loaded with self doubt and have spent a significant proportion of your life trying to fit in, this is not always what you want to hear….
Only, there are too many variations and variables to please everyone. Too many different perspectives and contexts to identify any consistent guidelines which would ensure that you are always “right”, which, in itself, is more subjective than I used to believe –
And so I am writing my own rulebook. It is based on a few simple principles with which I think most people would agree. Be nice. Be able to sleep at night. Do the best with what you have. Be honest – to others and to myself. Get to work on time.
The peripheral things, like whether drinking Sangria on Wednesdays is acceptable, or how short is too short, or how long do you have to wait before texting back? Well, I am trying not to worry about them. There are no set-in-stone answers to cling onto –
Just an opportunity to explore what feels best for me.