Comments and conversations

My new blog emails me when I get a comment.

I know it’s nothing special, but it’s made me aware of my reaction.

There is a split second, before I read it, when the vulnerability of writing is acute –

And then the fear dissipates in the shift to dialogue.

I am beginning to realise that the connections which come from writing are one of the main reasons that I blog. This is a change from when I started, and the emphasis was on telling my story or writing my feelings into sense. There are two interactions, now, that keep me writing: the first happens in exchanging thoughts for words; and the second in watching where the conversation goes. What I was mistaking for the finished thought, is only the starting point –

This has been a revelation, though it might have been obvious to everyone else.

Sometimes there is the click of identification; at other times, an opinion stops me in my tracks; often, the act of sharing generates a special kind of warmth.  I am struck by the power of this connection because it has been so painfully under-valued in the past. When the defences are high or the fear of criticism, paralysing, there is less space for opening yourself to what other people think.  As I get a little more courageous and stop turning everything inwards, then I am discovering that sharing – and exchanging – and challenging ideas is one of the most exciting experiences we have.

And so, suddenly, I have discovered a hungry curiosity. An appetite for hearing different stories and exploring new ideas and being challenged in what I think. I can see it in how I feel about blogging and commenting; but also in how I am gradually venturing out into the world.

I have always been a little bit scared of people but as I keep forging connections and finding points of identification – or being challenged by the differences – this is starting to change. There is a little intake as you put a bit of yourself out in the world, but it’s amazing to discover where each new “hello” will go


7 responses to “Comments and conversations

  1. Me too, love the dialog, the play of ideas. And let’s face it: Writers like the audience. We all think that we have something worth saying in a larger context. Otherwise we’d have a journal and not try to publish in any form. And then there are also the surprising friendships that develop in the void of the internet, the ones that keep the dialog going so that we can learn to color outside the lines and like it.

    In a perfect world, we could all meet at the local coffee house. Until then…

    • When they discover the secrets to teleportation…
      You’re right though I am probably a little embarrassed (not sure why) to admit it: I do like the audience… it’s just that I don’t feel so defensive of my writing, nor the need to “download” as much as I have in the past, if that makes sense. I think my writing has been quite one-sided (my perspective) rather than part of a chain of thought and I’d like to move it more in that direction. This is similar to how I’ve gone out into the world: like I expect to be judged or am afriad of the challenge, and it’s therefore a presentation rather than an interaction which is far more open and collaborative: the colouring outside the lines – and also inside them as it is no longer so monotone.

  2. It’s been awhile since we’ve ‘talked’ :). In light of your commenting post, I thought I would! I have ‘met’ many people through the internet, not really blogging as I only do it here and there but I cherish those friendships. For the most part, I am able to be completely honest because I am not worried of the reaction – at least it’s not face to face. It is easy to avoid someone when you never really see them!

    Anyhow, I agree with you post and find the commenting and responding intriguing as well!

    Hope you are doing well, Melissa!

    • Hello! And totally yes re the internet. My experience has been similar and it’s totally enriched my entire life. The thing about honesty is also interesting and the other thing that I’ve taken from the friendships that I’ve made online (and have extended into my offline world) – is that I am more comfortable being open and authentic, because I’ve been supported so much online.

      I am well thank you. Hope you’re good too? xx

  3. It sounds like things are changing for you. Congratulations.

    I’m glad that you love blogging too.

  4. Thanks Evan, it does feel like a shift – both in writing and in my wider world. And yes, I am enjoying seeing where this blog goes…. 😉

  5. I often feel like my blog writes itself and then “I” come out in the comments. It has been invaluable to me to hear other’s feedback. However, you must be prepared to not take the comments too seriously, be judicious!

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