I was going to write a serious post about adversity and prosperity, but my head keeps drifting. It has been doing this all week. I find myself staring out of the bus window, smiling. Walking along, humming, in a world of my own. I do not, at the moment, want to add weight to the feeling. I have not been a day dreamer, up until this point; and while I know it’s discouraged, I feel deliciously unsnagged.
And so I have decided to put the serious stuff on hold, for the moment, and write a post about day dreaming.
About what happens when you take a step back and let your mind wander without worrying that hope will lead to disappointment or dreams invite disenchantment because this is, I think, what I have finally done.
I have not worked out what has moved me beyond “but that could never happen” or cut-0ff dreams, confined within the parameters that are known. Aim – but only if the path is clearly defined; wish – but only if the wish is something within my control.
There has been sun, which makes everything lighter; and a guy, which sends reason out of the door –
The shift goes further than that, I think, though I can not quite put it into words. There is a lightness that I have not experienced before and a strange balance between how dreams and real lives interrelate. It is not about escaping, as I had mistakenly believed; but about creating a space for my imagination – and my aspirations – to grow.
And so, for the moment, I’m going with it. I do not mind that my dreams can not be pinned down in reality; nor am scared that they will be dashed the moment I throw them out –
The supply is infinite.
And, I am not worrying that the time spent staring out of bus windows could be better employed reading up on my work or checking through my emails because there is a subtle thread, underneath these musing, that is helping me work out what I really want.