I went to watch Madame Butterfly in Trafalgar Square last night because I have never been sure about opera and I am still doing my everything once. They had a huge screen underneath Nelson’s Column, framed by Big Ben and the London skyline. There were thousands of people sitting on the concrete, bare feet and drinking wine, stopping on their way home from work. The music, unexpectedly, blew me away, although I don’t know if the experience would have been the same in an enclosed and unshared space.
I walked back down Whitehall, past the creamy Cabinet Offices and then alongside Westminster Abbey, which I am still yet to properly explore. Because my sense of direction is shocking, even with a Google map, I ended up tangled in the old streets of SW1. I feel, at the moment, like I can’t get enough of London. This time has been so different.
I have been quiet over here recently. There is a gap in my head where the words used to be. It is strange because my life has been so rich with experiences in the past few months and yet, when it comes to writing, I have nothing to say.
It has taken me a while to acknowledge this.
Writing has been what has connected me to the world. I have gained so much from it and the thought of stopping, however temporarily, comes with a certain amount of fear and a sharp pang –
I can either keep writing, for the sake of writing and to fill the gap; or, I can pause, for a while, and see what happens.
And so, I have decided that because it feels, finally, like I am tied into the world in a million different ways, it might be okay to let go of this thread for a little while. To take a step back and work out what I really want to write about now. To identify the things that get me thinking, or talking, or fired up, or angry. To keep doing this looking outside thing and try to work out where I can add to the conversation and where I want my focus to lie. I’ve got a few ideas up my sleeve to help me do that; and, in the meantime, I’m going to take a summer holiday. It will be the first time in two years that I haven’t blogged so it will be interesting to see how it feels.
I’m hoping to be back in the not too distant future, with a little direction and after discovering what I really want to say.
Until then, much love xx