Last year, I had one of those psychometric personality test things for work. One of the things that it highlighted was a strong sense of intuition and how important this was for me.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Not just about whether you can sense the right direction or a new trend, but about the relationship between intuition and being true to ourselves. How, like a tuning fork, there seems to be this internal signal when we do something or go somewhere that is out of kilter with what we deep down believe.
I’ve become increasingly tuned into this recently, particularly because some of the things that I assumed were on key were actually off. I have spent a long time trying to walk the path that we are “meant” to walk and, when it is handed to me on a plate, I realise that it doesn’t quite fit.
Acknowledging this mis-fit has been surprisingly liberating.
A recent post by the lovely Judy Clement Wall resonates with what I have been noticing. She writes –
“It made me think about other changes I’ve resisted making in my life because they don’t coincide with the definition of myself I’ve had for years, a definition – a costume – that I think I’ve outgrown (if it ever fit at all).”
Last year, the intuition thing related to how I worked. Now, it seems to also be relating to how I understand me.
There is a certain irony in the fact that it has grown out of such a strong sense of personal distrust –
Or maybe not.
Maybe the contrast and the gradual rebuilding of trust – I will prove myself to me – has actually helped. Maybe going the wrong way (for me) has heightened my awareness of where the right way is, and developed an internal compass that, if I listen carefully, I can really trust.