Back again.

It is funny that, despite stopping my 101 things challenge before I hit the target, I have lived the last 6 months as though I was still packing 101 things in. Maybe it took only 40 or so actual challenges for me to discover that “no” is better as a second response than a first, and to realise that I want trying new things to be an intrinsic part of my life rather than a passing fad. To learn that you can suck the fun out of experiences when you add in the word “must” or cram them into a ridiculous timescale, and that ‘writing it up’ can make the whole thing feel like a hassle –

But also keep it imprinted in your mind.

It is this bit that I have been missing lately. This process of sitting down and saying, if I learnt one thing from today, it was that…. If I was here, before, then now, this part of me has moved a tiny bit somewhere else. If I remember one thing….

I know there is a fine line between breaking up an experience and enhancing it. The trick, I guess, is finding out where that lies.

I haven’t been doing that. I moved from manically writing it all down to a silence I have keenly felt and which has made me realise that writing sealed the experience and, that, without it, something feels undone. Life has gone by at such a pace that it has become a blurred streak and I have found it increasingly hard to notice and appreciate the gems. I have also found that, when you don’t pause and relate yourself back to an experience, it is hard not to feel as though you, too, are being swept long.

When I woke up this morning, the words were arranging themselves in my head again. I have always heard my writing before I have put fingers to keyboard, and I guess this means it is the right time to start blogging again. I had forgotten how satisfying the choosing and changing of words feels; and, how the choice can surprise you because you’ve suddenly worked something new out. I had also under-estimated how much I use writing to ground me. How it binds me to experiences and how it is, often, the end or start of what I do.


2 responses to “Back again.

  1. Welcome back! Doing purely what you want to do and what feels right and important to you is right on but, as an outsider and firm believer in the power of writing, it’s good to hear (erm, read) that you’ll be blogging again. 🙂

  2. Just me, smiling. 🙂 Amazing how.good it feels to do what we’re meant to do, yeah?heaven

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