This is an afterthought to the previous post.
I pressed publish and then I went back to worrying about something or other, and it suddenly struck me that one way of changing things might be to explore other options. To wait, for a second, before doing what I would usually do and ask myself “what would happen if I did x instead”.
I think this kind of exploration might be the way forward. It gives you room to try out different things and to collect a bit of feedback.
For a relatively intelligent and sometimes rational human, it has taken me rather a long time to realise that b will always result in c but d might result in something different. The courage bit comes in when it comes down to doing d instead of the more familiar b. I reckon I can manage that.